Friday, February 27, 2009

It's a great day!

Why is it a great day?

Because it's Friday! (duh)
It's payday.
The weather is perfect.
There's supposed to be a comet tonight.
LOST is at home.
My boss brought cinnamon rolls for breakfast.
I got to get out in the sunshine for a bit.
I have amazing parents who I love very very much!
And a heavenly Father who has blessed me beyond what I deserve!

Yep, it's a great day :)

Tuesday, February 24, 2009


There's actually not too much to report right now. Work has been crazy all day and I'm just now getting a moment of semi-quiet. This past weekend was pretty darn amazing. The weather was perfect and Meg and I went down to Sedona to really enjoy it. It was nice to have just her and I hang out, it's been awhile.

Time has been flying. I'm trying to stay caught up with days and dates and it's just not working right now. It's almost March, just to throw that out there. What happened to January?? Heck what happened to February?

God has been opening my eyes to a lot of things, some things I'd prefer not to notice, but it's ok. He's showing me what needs to change and what wounds need to be reopened so that I can forgive and heal. It's not easy, it's actually frustrating. Things that I thought I'd dealt with are being brought under the light and I see how bad it really looks. Change is hard, but change is necessary.

Well that was my attempt at a happier blog :) your welcome mom.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

I'll be ok in time

This past week was pretty rough. I do really good and then I'll breakdown. It's pathetic I know to be saying all of this, but I really did feel like my heart was ripped out of my body and left in the snow. Ok that is an overexageration, just trying to get the point across and pretend that I can spell overexageration. It wasn't that bad, but tell my heart that when I was crying myself to sleep, 4 freakin nights in a row. No one knows that. No one will know that. Besides mom and the blogging world now. It's hard to be around him and her. I would say names but they've been mentioned already and there's pictures. I'm protecting the innocent! Your welcome. :)

It doesn't help that they're both my best friends. I can't not hang around them because I love them so much. Even when it's just us three and I start to feel like a third wheel, they pull me back in because they know, to an extent, how I feel. He's leaving in October to go on a road trip across the country. He could be gone as little as a month up to 8 months. I won't waste this time being hurt and not be around him because I won't be able to soon.

So all of that to say that, yes, I am still hurting and sometimes I feel like I can't go on. But they are my best friends and they would never do anything to intentionally hurt me. Life just happened.

Wednesday, February 11, 2009

My Dear Husband

To my dear Husband,

I thought I knew you.

I thought that if I waited long enough you'd see me.

But instead my heart was broken by a man who fell for my best friend.

I'm sorry that I wasted so much time and emotion on another man.

Only you and Jesus can take the broken pieces of my heart and put them back together.

I love you.

Forgive me.